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Exposing A Dark Reality: A Nurse’s Story Of Addiction, Diversion & Recovery
By April Rowe, BSN, RN
AN UNLIKELY ADDICT
LET’S HAVE AN OPEN AND CANDID DISCUSSION about a sensitive yet pertinent issue that affects our healthcare community—substance use disorders among nurses. The statistics are alarming, with approximately 6-10% of nurses struggling with substance abuse.
Nursing is an incredibly demanding profession, both physically and emotionally. The long hours, high-stress environments, and constant exposure to trauma can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being. It’s not surprising that some nurses turn to substances as a coping mechanism, seeking relief from the overwhelming pressures of the job.
We have the privilege of sharing a deeply personal and candid story from one of our own—a nurse who has battled substance use disorder and emerged stronger on the other side. Kristin Waite-Labott, BSN, RN, from Wisconsin, courageously opens up about this often-stigmatized issue. She hopes to resonate with other nurses who may be facing similar challenges. Kristin’s message is clear: you are not alone, and there is no shame in seeking help.
A SLIPPERY SLOPE: HOW IT ALL BEGAN
Kristin’s substance use started in college with alcohol. She experienced a lot of anxiety while living away and going to nursing school. “I remember that first night when I went out drinking with my friends, and I drank a lot. It was like I found the answers to all my problems. I felt comfortable in my own skin, and it made it easier to talk to other people. Alcohol just made me feel so much better, so I found myself over the next six years drinking a lot more than my friends. It interfered with school, and I failed a couple of classes. It took me six years to complete the four-year BSN degree.”
Kristin had her first child in college and was able to straighten herself up for a while. After graduating, she started working in a pediatrics department. She began drinking again at home by herself when her daughter would go to bed. “I told myself that it wasn’t a problem even though I was drinking until I passed out. It definitely affected my relationship with my daughter because I wasn’t able to be as engaged with her since I was hungover and just not feeling great,” she recalled.
When Kristin had surgery in 1997, she was prescribed Percocet, and her substance use took a sharp turn for the worse. “I found that Percocet made me feel good like the alcohol did, but it didn’t have all those messy side effects.” She found many excuses to request more pills from her doctor and also would take any pain pills her husband was prescribed.
Nursing is an incredibly demanding profession, both physically and emotionally. The long hours, high-stress environments, and constant exposure to trauma can take a toll on our mental and emotional well-being.
Kristin took on a new nursing role in the emergency department. “It occurred to me one night that we threw away a lot of really good drugs. One day, I just put what I had left in my pocket.” Her trusting peers would just sign off on her wastes without actually seeing the medications. She would switch out medications with saline and pretend to waste them, but most often, her coworkers would cosign without even checking or seeing the medications.
When Kristin got her dream job as a transport nurse, she vowed to quit alcohol and drugs. “I was going through a divorce at that time, so it didn’t take long for me to start up again. On transport, we used a lot of Fentanyl, and the first time I took that, all of my problems went away. Once I tried Fentanyl, something changed in me, and I needed to have it. I was in so much denial and always thought that whenever I took something, it would be the last time. It never occurred to me that I would get caught.” Eventually, Kristin’s work figured out she was diverting the medication, and she lost her dream nursing job. She was devastated.
HITTING ROCK BOTTOM
Kristin was fired and had to surrender her nursing license. Because she no longer had health insurance coverage, she could not afford a treatment center but started attending Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings. Kristin was initially charged with 26 felonies but ultimately was charged with a misdemeanor and sentenced to probation.
She applied for a medical secretary position at a doctor’s office and was completely honest about her recent past, and they decided to give her a chance. One day, as she was calling in a prescription for a patient, without any hesitation and while still on probation, Kristin called in a prescription for herself using her new employer’s name and medical license. She was in so much denial and so desperate that she never even considered the consequences.
When the pharmacy became suspicious of the frequent prescriptions, they called the doctor to confirm, and he denied ever signing any prescriptions for her. So, once again, her employer found out, and she was caught. Kristin was arrested at the pharmacy when she went to pick up her pills. She was charged with nine felonies and spent four months incarcerated. She had hit rock bottom, but sometimes, the bottom is where we must land to be able to rise.
THE ROAD TO RECOVERY
Being in jail and away from her children was the worst experience of her life. “It was an awful time in my life, but it was what I needed to finally realize that I didn’t want to live like this, and I have been in recovery ever since. So I’ve spent the last 19 years rebuilding my self-worth, my career, my family, and making my life meaningful and joyful.”
Once I tried Fentanyl, something changed in me, and I needed to have it. I was in so much denial and always thought that whenever I took something, it would be the last time.
After her jail time, she attended a treatment program and AA. She had a therapist who was also in recovery and helped her immensely. Kristin found a medical assistant position with a doctor who was also in recovery, so it was a safe work environment with openness, honesty, and support. She requested not to have any access to prescriptions and was luckily in a better state of mind and had no interest in using again. Jail cured her of that desire.
ADDICTION AFTERMATH: REBUILDING TRUST & MOVING FORWARD
Kristin had always wanted to be a nurse, so she desperately wanted to recover her license. In 2007, she entered a monitored program that allowed her to work as a nurse again; however, for five years, she was unable to work anywhere that received federal funding, like Medicaid/Medicare. This limited her employment opportunities, but she finally found a job at a research clinic.
Eventually she was able to have an unrestricted nursing license and transitioned to a behavioral health job followed by a role in education. Around 2019, she became a coach for a virtual intensive outpatient program for nurses going through recovery. She was able to use her own personal experiences to assist others just like her.
In 2021, Kristin launched the Wisconsin Peer Alliance for Nurses (WisPAN), a peer support organization for nurses going through recovery and to also support mental health wellness. Along with her role at WisPAN, Kristin works part-time in the emergency department and does admissions for a treatment program based out of New York.
A VOICE FOR CHANGE: ADVOCACY AND SUPPORT FOR NURSES IN NEED
Kristin’s goal in life is to share her story and spread awareness for substance use disorder in nursing. She educates others about the signs of the disorder and the resources and support available, and she wants other nurses to know that they are not alone and that, like her, they can get through it.
During Kristin’s recovery, she was having a hard time processing her past, so her therapist encouraged her to start writing down her story. After a few years, her therapist suggested she could publish the story to help others. Although reluctant, Kristin published her book, “An Unlikely Addict,” in 2015. Not only has her story helped other nurses, but it has also helped Kristin realize that she is not alone.
Kristin encourages all nurses to be more diligent during the drug-wasting process. “Don’t leave your peers in a vulnerable position where it’s easy to divert drugs. Stay with them, watch the process, and keep everyone safe. The number one way drugs are diverted in hospitals is through the wasting process, so follow the procedure, and take the time to really watch and pay attention.”
Substance use disorder is progressive, and it only gets worse. Reach out before something awful happens and your whole world comes crashing down on you like it did for me.
SEEK HELP
Kristin has a direct message to the nurses who are reading this and have a substance use disorder: “Denial is so strong. When you tell yourself this will be the last time, it won’t be. You need to get help because you can’t do it alone. We aren’t meant to recover alone. We need support, and with WisPAN, we have nurses from all over who join our virtual meetings. Everyone is welcome, and we don’t take attendance. You can log in to the Zoom meeting anonymously. There’s no cost to join. It’s not just for substance abuse but for mental health wellness too. Just email us at Wispan2021@gmail.com.“
“Substance use disorder is progressive, and it only gets worse. Reach out before something awful happens and your whole world comes crashing down on you like it did for me. It doesn’t have to happen to you. My story can help others by showing them what the future looks like for them; it’s not pretty, and it’s not fun, but recovery is possible. There are so many nurses from all over who are getting into recovery before experiencing what happened to me. You are not alone,” concluded Kristin.
A BOOK WRITTEN FOR NURSES
With a foreword written by Dr. Carmel Clancy, President of the International Nurses Society on Addictions (IntNSA), the book, “Substance Use Disorder in Healthcare Professionals,” is a comprehensive guide to understanding and addressing substance use disorder in the healthcare field.
HOW TO SEEK HELP
To join a free meeting or to donate to the cause, visit the Wisconsin Peer Alliance for Nurses
unlikelyaddict.com
References:
Journal of Nursing Regulation, 2022
